7:00 AM sun barely up Salt on the rim of a Solo cup Two shots tequila, a fresh-squeezed lime Splash a little triple sec it’s stirrin’ time All stressed out from the day to day It’s time to wash your worries away Tuck away your troubles, put your problems aside And sip a margarita in the morning light Because it’s Margarita Morning Oh yeah! Margarita Morning That’s right! Margarita Morning You heard me! Margarita Morning 9:00 AM goin’ strong Drink margaritas all day long 10:00 AM tequila no more Drunken walk to the grocery store It goes… Bottle number two, whoop-dee doo I like makin’ mornin’ margaritas with you Bottle number three, fiddle-dee dee Make another mornin’ margarita with me Because it’s Margarita Morning Oh yeah! Margarita Morning That’s right! Margarita Morning You heard me! Margarita Morning Drinkin’ in the mornin’ Drinkin’ in the daytime Drinkin’ well before noon You and me baby got a great thing goin’ And there ain’t much else to do! 11:00 AM I don’t know where we are Looks like it’s some kinda tiki bar Vision blurred, words are slurred Hurzzagurd is for the birds Black out suddenly you’re in a saloon Look at the clock it’s half past noon Room starts spinnin’ head begins to pound Means that it’s time for another round On Margarita Morning Oh yeah! Margarita Morning That’s right! Margarita Morning You heard me! Margarita Morning Everybody! Margarita Morning Oh yeah! Margarita Morning Just the left side! Margarita Morning Now the right side! Margarita Morning Just the back row! Margarita Morning Just this guy! Margarita Morning Everybody! Margarita Morning I can’t hear you… Margarita Morning Ok I can hear you now Margarita Morning One more time Margarita Morning One more final final Margarita Morning

Last night was really very strange So weird you barely can explain All you know is it wasn’t a dream Heard a noise late in the night Looked up, saw a flashing light That’s when they caught you in their tractor beam You got abducted by Aliens, aliens, aliens, aliens, aliens, aliens from space Told your friends, they wouldn’t believe you They said you were probably too boozed up Or maybe you were on LSD You said, “No man, I was sober” Too bad, the argument was over You just wish that someone would believe You got abducted by Aliens, aliens, aliens, aliens, aliens, aliens from space You got abducted by Aliens, aliens, aliens, aliens, aliens, aliens from space Took your UFO caper To the local newspaper They said, “Son are you on shrooms?” When you told them all about the Experiments, they said that they doubt ya But you know that you told them the truth You got abducted by Aliens, aliens, aliens, aliens, aliens, aliens from space You got abducted by aliens No one believes you You got abducted by aliens No one believes it But you

Beach balls in San Francisco Fast cars and laser discos Permanent paid vacation Absolute inebriation You blast into the stars, increase the danger It started off bizarre now it’s getting stranger You hold on tight but you’re losing your grip So say good night because you’re starting to slip into a Brand new world of dance moves A big promotion and some shiny shoes So take a shower and dress up right ‘Cause we’re all getting drunk tonight You’re feeling strange and so you check in the mirror You wipe away the fog but it doesn’t get clearer You’re giving up, your fight is done So you can live it up because it sounds like fun and then you Break open a bottle of whiskey Three more shots and we’re all getting frisky Dinosaur pajama bottoms It’s like Gomorrah and the city of Sodom Just take a bottle, pour another glass You go full-throttle, you’re going too fast You’re doing things that can’t be done And now you’re playing like a champion and then you’re Breaking down racial barriers Blowing up aircraft carriers Making words up as you go Promenade and do-si-do I sang a song that had no meaning I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings No matter what though you gotta admit The first line was really the shit I sang Beach balls in San Francisco Fast cars and laser discos I hope you liked my silly song And if you didn’t It won’t be long ‘til it ends

When I was young They asked everyone When you grow up What would you Most like to do? And Larry said he Was going to be A Broadway dancer His name in lights His legs in tights And Mary said she Would get a PhD Next she’d cure cancer Here eyes Were on the Nobel Prize And when they asked me “What do you want to be?” I knew my answer It was better than the rest Oh yes Said I'd like to be The CE O of A private penitentiary Yes I’m gonna run A for-profit prison A publicly traded Incarceration Corporation Folks’ll invest Ha! You think that I jest? We’ll make lots of money On my indentured Business venture I can’t wait To see my inmates Workin’ for peanuts No minimum wage You’re in a cage And guards in the yard To force them to work hard I’ll sell what they make And with the profits Buy off Congress Make ‘em pass laws About probable cause Racial profiling Search and seizure At your leisure Mandatory time For nonviolent crime Minimum sentences Just tell the judge He had some drugs Convince the world that he’s a thug Dress him in stripes Strip his rights Make him work all through the night A perfect plan That cannot fail We’ll load up state and county jails They’ll overflow Where will they go? You send ‘em to me And I guarantee I’ll put ‘em to work I’ll barely pay ‘em And I’ll profit off of their labor! And would you believe I had that plan made Back in second grade It all was so clear I always knew What I would do So when they’d ask me “What do you want to be?” I’d look ‘em right in the eye and say, “I know exactly what I wanna be When I grow up”

Hey there Mr. Senator Won’t you lend me your ear? I got a proposition that You might like to hear Mr. Senator, what’s your deal? What can I do to grease the wheels? The corporation’s Breathin’ down my neck And if I don’t pass this bill I don’t get no paycheck Hey there Mr. Senator Won’t you lend me a hand? Can’t you see that I’m an honest Hardworking American? Mr. Senator please be cool I got three kids in a private school I lost custody In a messy divorce And if I can’t pass this bill I can’t pay child support Hey there Mr. Senator You better fall in line Remember how I scratched your back? Well it’s time that you scratched mine You got your quid Where’s my quo? K Street is a two-way road I got you all that money For your campaign So come on pass this bill And help me make it rain Hey there Mr. Senator You better listen to me I’ve got a picture that the public Really wouldn’t like to see But if you play ball I promise to burn This photo of you and your intern Doin’ it doggy-style On the beach But you better pass the bill Before the picture gets leaked

Echo chamber Echo chamber Nobody’s free Computer algorithms Decide what we see Clickin’ on this Never click that Next thing you know You’re only seein’ half Of what’s going on What’s going on What’s going on What’s going on? Echo chamber Echo chamber You know it’s true The internet you see Has been tailored to you Because you searched for that You shopped for this Computer algorithms Record all the clicks Click click Click click Click click Click click! Echo chamber Echo chamber Isn’t it fun? Computers make assumptions About everyone Predict what you’ll think Predict how you’ll feel Predict what you’re gonna eat For your next meal Predict what you’ll click And what you click they predict Predict what you’ll click And what you click they predict!

Well there’s four flamin’ horsemen comin’ out of the sky The sun is burnin’ up right before our eyes The people in the streets are runnin’ terrified And there ain’t no reason to go outside So roll another joint baby And open up a bottle of wine Pour some shots of whiskey darlin’ And everything’ll be just fine There’s famine, plague, and pestilence a comin’ soon Then a hurricane and a big monsoon Followed by an avalanche and a typhoon Well it looks like there’s nothin’ that we can do But roll another joint baby And open up a bottle of wine Pour some shots of whiskey darlin’ And everything’ll be just fine The radiation levels are not okay The zombie population’s growin’ every day Everywhere you look it’s just death and decay So come on honey, whattaya say We roll another joint baby And open up a bottle of wine Pour some shots of whiskey darlin’ And everything’ll be just fine

I got a girl and she’s just right When we go out she’s so polite Never rude or mean O-oh She’s high class, so divine Never crass, so refined She never makes a scene O-oh O-oh All my people know what Ludacris said I want a lady in the street and a freak in the bed (Instrumental) All my people know what Ludacris said I want a lady in the street and a freak in the bed When we’re at home she ain’t the same She likes to play with whips and chains She’s got a kinky streak O-oh She skips first base, goes right to third And never uses a safe word She says they’re for the weak O-oh O-oh All my people know what Ludacris said I want a lady in the street and a freak in the bed Yes a freak in the bed

DNA duplicate And randomly make Changes to your code DNA duplicate And randomly make Changes to your code Deep within my cells There is an ancient code Written out in Proteins spiraling And determining Things like hair color Ah! DNA duplicate And replicate A G T and C DNA duplicate And replicate A G T and C Deep within my cells Inside each nucleus There’s adenine Guanine Thymine And cytosine Ah! Deep within my heart I know my white blood cells Are programmed with An ancient code To kill the things That try to kill me Ah! DNA duplicate And keep me safe From illness and disease DNA duplicate And keep me safe From illness and disease When my skin is cut My cells know what to do They duplicate Coordinate Regenerate My skin it’s great Ah! DNA duplicate Regenerate Certain parts of me DNA duplicate Regenerate Certain parts of me Ever since the first Single-celled life form You’ve been the blueprint Of every kind of life on Earth Everything’s related No exceptions Ah! DNA DNA Alleluia

Well I heard there was a secret chord That David played and it pleased the Lord But you don’t really care for music, do you? It goes like this: the fourth, the fifth The minor fall and the major lift The baffled king composing Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Your faith was strong but you needed proof You saw her bathing on the roof Her boobies and the moonlight Overthrew ya She tied you to a kitchen chair Removed your pants and went down there And with her lips She blew ya Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Well baby I’ve done this before And inthe mornin’ we’ll both be sore But that’s no reason why I shouldn’t screw ya Just strap me to the bed and next You slap me with your sultry breasts There’s handcuffs, gags, whipped cream Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Well I tried my best but it wasn’t much It seems that I have lost my touch I’m sorry that’s the way I had to do ya But even though it all went wrong At least I still wrote you this song So come along, sing along with Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah

I said goodbye to a friend Who wasn’t really a friend More of a sort of acquaintance I guess Not really an acquaintance But more of a presence In my life that had to go. Oh where oh where do I start? This story comes from my heart But it’s not ‘bout my heart But a different part Now what I’m’bout to tell you Might get uncomfortable But I promise that there’s a point. There was antagonizing So very agonizing And I’d just sit there and take it And not say a thing I can’t believe it took me so long To recognize that it didn’t have to be this way. But I knew no better nor worse I never knew I was cursed Because the curse was unpleasantly present from birth The curse was named Doug Yeah Doug is the name I gave The thirty millimeter polyp that they found inside my colon Goodbye Doug Goodbye Doug Goodbye Doug Goodbye Doug Well for all of my years I had always pooped weird Another trip to the toilet was my biggest fear And then one day it hit me That possibly dairy was the Cause of my bathroom blues. And so I cut out the cheese Said no more milk for me please And no more butter or yogurt Or coffee with cream Eliminating lactose certainly helped But there was still something wrong. And so I went to my doc And she said I’ll tell you what I think that it’s time someone looked in your butt A colonoscopy will get to the bottom Of your problems on the john. So Dr. Sheinman went in To my sigmoidal colon That’s where he saw Doug and his shit-eating grin He cut that fleshy bastard out of my colon Laughed and then he said: “Rectum? Surgically removed ‘em!” Goodbye Doug Goodbye Doug Goodbye Doug Goodbye Doug Goodbye Doug Goodbye Doug Goodbye Doug Goodbye Doug And so what was the point? I promised there was a point Well the point was the point was the point What’s the point? I know there was a reason I wanted to tell you About my colonic polyp I named Doug. I guess the point of my song Is Doug was in me too long And deep down I always knew something was wrong But I never talked about it ‘Cause people don’t generally Want to talk about number two. But when you keep things inside And you don’t swallow your pride You’re choosing to live an uncomfortable life So even though it’s awkward, may I suggest You tell your doctor about your shit. Because if you think it’s weird Well then it’s probably weird And I know some of you can relate to me here You don’t have to tell me but you really should tell Your doctor about your poo But if you can’t afford a specialist ‘Cause our healthcare system is a mess I don’t know what to say to you Except sorry ‘bout your funky poo Healthcare is a human right But we can’t get there overnight There’s too much paperwork involved The problem’s just too big to solve But if you happen to have access to Good insurance and a doctor too You know just the thing to do: Talk about your stool And maybe you’ll Get to say: Goodbye Doug Goodbye Doug Goodbye Doug Goodbye Doug Goodbye Doug Goodbye Doug Goodbye Doug Goodbye Doug Goodbye Doug Goodbye Doug Goodbye Doug Goodbye Doug Goodbye Doug Goodbye Doug Goodbye Doug Goodbye Doug

I live on a pale blue dot With my friends and family and the stuff I got We're sometimes happy, we're sometimes sad We've seen great good and tremendous bad The people on the pale blue dot Are sometimes friends they're sometimes not They make love, make war, make up laws And they'll keep making new ways to do it because The pale blue dot Keeps on changing It never never stays the same All it does is change and change The pale blue dot Keeps on changing It never never stays the same All it does is change and change The pale blue dot Suspended in space Will always stay a changing place The pale blue dot wasn't always blue It was molten rock before me and you It took a hundred million years For the crust and the mantle to appear A billion years after that The first signs of life showed up, in fact It took another billion more For life to take multicellular form And the pale blue dot Keeps on changing It never never stays the same All it does is change and change The pale blue dot Keeps on changing It never never stays the same All it does is change and change The pale blue dot Suspended in space Will always stay a changing place The multi-cellular life evolved Into stuff that flies and climbs and crawls Creatures with a thousand legs Things that reproduce through eggs Monkeys smoking cigarettes Psychedelic mushrooms, household pets Bipedal hominid painting a cave Neighborhood kid selling lemonade And the pale blue dot Keeps on changing It never never stays the same All it does is change and change The pale blue dot Keeps on changing It never never stays the same All it does is change and change The pale blue dot Suspended in space Will always stay a changing place One day the sun will expand And swallow up the earth It's a common event we've witnessed All throughout the universe And so I say to you What are we going to do? We'd better come to grips And start building rocket ships Or some other technology that can get us off of this planet before it's swallowed up by the sun! So come together and Leave the planet! Come together and Leave the planet! Come together and Leave the planet! Come together and Leave the planet! Come together and Leave the planet! Come together and Leave the planet! Come together and Leave the planet! Come together and Leave the planet!

This here song is a sing-along So won’t you sing with me? The words are easy to remember And the melody repeats It goes like this then it goes like that Then does one of these After these comes one of those Then we move into Part Three Part Three’s fun ‘cause it’s the part When you shout “hooray!” (Hooray!) You love the sing-along so much You want to sing it every day Now you know the sing-along You know the words by heart So won’t you please indulge me And sing them from the very start? This here song is a sing-along So won’t you sing with me? Come on! The words are easy to remember And the melody repeats It goes like this then it goes like that Then does one of these After these comes one of those Then we move into Part Three Part Three’s fun ‘cause it’s the part When you shout “hooray!” (Hooray!) You love the sing-along so much You want to sing it every day Now you know the sing-along You know the words by heart So won’t you please indulge me And sing them from the very start? Here we go! This here song is a sing-along So won’t you sing with me? The words are easy to remember And the melody repeats It goes like this then it goes like that Then does one of these After these comes one of those Then we move into Part Three Part Three’s fun ‘cause it’s the part When you shout “hooray!” (Hooray!) You love the sing-along so much You want to sing it every day Now you know the sing-along You know the words by heart So won’t you please indulge me And sing them from the very start? Just you guys! This here song is a sing-along So won’t you sing with me? The words are easy to remember And the melody repeats It goes like this then it goes like that Then does one of these After these comes one of those Then we move into Part Three Part Three’s fun ‘cause it’s the part When you shout “hooray!” (Hooray!) You love the sing-along so much You want to sing it every day